Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
pop tarts are not kleenex
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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