Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
