Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
