your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
