I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
