i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
