Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
