Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Can't talk, ducks in the car
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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