I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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