i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
