Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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