You really coming over, don't trick.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
