Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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