He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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