i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
