they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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