i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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