Tell her she can't have a vagina
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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