Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
