Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
