No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
