Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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