Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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