Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
