i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
