some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
