it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
