all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
