Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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