clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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