I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
