your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
