You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
