I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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