: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
