How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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