I just cut my nipple shaving
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she looked like the before picture.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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