His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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