i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
