I smell stomach acid.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
