where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think my fart just growled at me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
