fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
