you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
