just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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