This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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