She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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