do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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