Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
