Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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