after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
