I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
