After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
